In 2007, a decade after her death, a collection of the writings and correspondence of Mother Theresa was published.  The writings revealed that with rare exceptions, she spent the last 50 years of her life without the awareness of the presence of God.

Some Christians are blessed to have ‘mountain top’ experiences that they can recall.  Others never experience that sense of awe-inspiring wonder.  Some Christians have known moments of quiet bliss in which they felt absolutely at one with God and all creation; some not.  Some Christians have felt the unmistakable presence of God surrounding them; others, not so much.  These moments are precious and powerful, but they’re not universal or consistent.

All people of faith have known times when God does not seem near; when there is no comfort in prayer or worship; when the holy mystery of God is invisible behind the opaque mask of ordinary day to day life.

When we feel dry and God feels distant or absent, it is not uncommon to wonder if we have been rejected by God because we are too sinful or unworthy.  It’s true that sin and selfishness can put distance between ourselves and God, but just because God seems distant doesn’t mean that we are sinners who God has rejected.  Mother Theresa, and Elijah and countless saints have all experienced times when God seemed far away.  Psalm 77 is a long reflection on just such a feeling of desolation:

I commune with my heart in the night;
     I ponder and search my mind.
Will the Lord cast me off forever?
     will he no more show his favor? (vss. 6-7)

The Psalmist doesn’t tell us how his feelings of God’s absence went away; maybe they didn’t.  Instead, he recalls the loving, saving acts of God known throughout the history of Israel. 

When God is silent and seems afar off, remembering God’s faithful love in scripture and in our own history is one way to endure the silence.  Like Mother Theresa, we need not allow our dark night of the soul to keep us from enacting our Christian love in deeds of charity and service to the ‘least of these.’  Even if we feel nothing, we know that whenever we serve those in need we meet Christ and serve him.

Prayer:  God of majesty and mystery, your faithfulness and love are not always evident to us.  Preserve us in our seasons of silence and darkness.  Give us steadfast faith in your steadfastness.  Amen.