Some of your virtues were instilled in you by the people who raised you.  Some of these things were drilled into you by constant repetition.  I bet everyone reading this can recall someone who never gave you a moment’s peace about sitting up straight, doing your homework and chores, wearing polished shoes, being on time, never telling a lie or leaving a light on. 

Some of the lessons we learned were subtler; not a word was said, but we learned what was important to our family.  We learned our family’s values about money and success, whether faith was important, and how to show affection. We learned all this without ever hearing a lecture or having someone lay down the law.  It’s surprising how much our character and values were shaped by our upbringing.

Our upbringing forms us; it can also deform us.  We can learn things at our parent’s knees that we spend our adult lives unlearning.  Lots of time in therapists’ offices is centered on unlearning.  Some of us have to be taught as adults that we are not stupid, lazy or unattractive, that we are worthy of affection and esteem.   This can be hard work for people who carry scars and damage from childhood, but it is not hopeless either.

In the second commandment which prohibits idolatry, the text goes on to say:

I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments. (Exodus 20:5)

Even though we may be all grown up, we recognize the effects of our parents’ sin and failure.  We may even understand how they were affected by the intergenerational failings and sins that preceded them.  As parents we tremble at the effects our own sins and failures have had and will have on the children we love. 

What strikes me most powerfully about this scripture is that even the most crippling effects of sin pale before the power of God’s steadfast love which endures for a thousand generations.  There is healing for intergenerational pain.  No matter where you are or where you’ve been, God’s steadfast love is more powerful and endures beyond our human faults and failings for those who follow God’s way in love and trust.

Prayer:  Heavenly Father, your love for us is the balm that heals every hurt and fills every longing.  Grant that we might walk in the awareness that we are your beloved children.   Amen.